The Love Dare

Happy New Year everyone!  

     January is the time when so many of us set resolutions for the upcoming year.  We see the New Year as a time for new beginnings - a fresh start.  The problem is we often set out to do a complete 180 degree turn and when we fail, we abandon the resolution completely. 

     Why does this happen?  Often we identify the goal or outcome we want to reach, but we don’t determine what steps we will take to reach that goal.  I often have parents tell me that they want to be a better parent or spouse.  They are usually able to tell me what it would look like if they attained that goal, but are unable to tell me what changes they plan to make to get there. 

     There is a recently published book called, ‘The Love Dare’ by Alex & Stephen Kendrick.  If you saw the movie Fireproof, the book was the blueprint Kaleb (main character) used to make changes in his marriage.  It is a 40 day challenge to make changes. 

     For example, day one calls for the reader to make no negative comments toward his spouse.  Day two also challenges that no negative comments are made and in addition, one nice gesture be made.  The gesture could be as little as pouring a cup of coffee for a spouse, or warming up a vehicle. 

     Each of the forty days has a specific step toward the ultimate goal of improving the marriage relationship.  Each step is something that can be accomplished in one day.  If you have the opportunity to take a look at ‘The Love Dare’, it is a great example of how a life change can take place one day at a time, one step at a time.  We often tell people that changes must be made in their life, but fail to help them map out how to make those changes.  I’ve failed to make changes in my own life because I didn’t have a plan.  Good intentions were quickly replaced by frustration.  I love the quote, “a failure to plan is a plan to fail”. 

     So if you have a goal for 2010, or are working with families to bring about change, increase the odds of success by decreasing the odds of failure.  Break it down into tasks, get an accountability partner for support, and stay the course. 

     Helping people, changing lives…one step at a time.

    by Lisa Follmer